The Legendary Phantom of the Opera: tanteified!
by No one and Nobody
Summary: A contest is being held for the school with the best version of the musical and the three teen couples have lead roles, but Kudo can't sing, Heiji's got to get his understudy away from Kazuha, and Kaito has to juggle two roles and not get caught as KID.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Metantei Conan, OR The Phantom of the Opera. Woe is me. I do own this fic, so please try to enjoy**

**Summary: A competition is being held for all the high schools in Japan to perform the best rendition of the musical _The Phantom of the Opera _and our three favorite teenage couples all landed the lead roles, but there are a few problems- Shinichi can't sing, Heiji has to keep going back and forth from his cases in Tokyo to Osaka so he can get his understudy away from Kazuha, and Kaitou is playing Raoul while Kaitou KID is playing the phantom. And if that isn't enough trouble, the boys have involved themselves in a little bet... **

* * *

_ding dong_

_ding dong_

_ding dong_

_dingdongdingdongdingdongdingdongdingdong_

"Alright already! Knock it off!" he slammed the door shut behind him as abruptly as he opened it.

"We're gonna be late, Shinichi!" she planted her hands on her hips and gave him a look that only she could muster. Actually, Kazuha and Aoko could probably pull it off pretty well too.

Shinichi rolled his eyes as they started walking towards their school. "You miss me for three whole days and all you can say is-" - he cleared his throat and pulled his voice up a few octaves- "-we're gonna be late, Shinichi!"

"Well maybe if you didn't run off to that stupid case then I wouldn't _have_ to miss you for three days!"

Beside her, Shinichi broke into a sly, cocky grin. "So you _did_ miss me."

Ran slung her arm at him and stormed on ahead after he narrowly dodged her fist.

Shinichi sighed. _Lay easy on the jokes._ "Oi, Ran!" he called and chased after her. "How many cases do I have to solve to get an actual congratulations from you?" he demanded when he finally caught up.

Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks and stood perfectly still for a few seconds, then turned around to face him. "I'm sorry, Shinichi. Congratulations."

She smiled brightly and he gratefully returned the favor. "Thanks, Ran."

Unfortunately, they had already arrived at school, where _eager audiences_ always _lurked_ around somewhere nearby.

"Hey look! Kudo's back and he's already hittin' on his wife!"

"Shut up, Takeshi! A man can hit on his wife whenever he wants to!" and then he suddenly realized what he said and blushed. "She isn't my wife!" he added lamely. Unfortunately, it was the truth. Even if they were both 18 and in their third and final year of high school- a year since the end of the whole Conan incident, he still hadn't plucked up the courage to propose or even do so much as confess. It was pretty strange, actually. He had expected to tell her how he felt right away, but he just kept postponing and postponing, waiting for the right moment- and now, one year later, here they were- right where they left off.

Takeshi laughed. "Hey, I heard the news, man. Congratulations!"

That got his attention. "Hey, thanks!" Then he said to Ran- "You see? Easy, right?"

"Hey, you too, Ran!" Takeshi exclaimed before waving and going off to class.

Shinichi and Ran exchanged looks.

It was the same all day. Everyone kept coming up to them and congratulating them on God knows what and _man_ it was pissing them off!

"Ran! Congratulations!"

"Sonoko, will you please tell me what's going on? Don't you dare laugh at me and run away like everyone's been doing!"

Her long-time friend produced a frighteningly impish grin. "I guess it's about time I showed you two."

* * *

There is a board, made entirely of pokable cork in the middle of the hall.

On that bulletin board, there are papers and papers of school activities, accomplishments, announcements and awards.

Among one of those papers is a list.

On that list lined up two straight columns- names of students on the left and names of characters on the right.

"The Phantom of the Opera." Shinichi read in monotone. "What's that?"

Ran _politely _elbowed him in the ribs. "Honestly. For a smart guy, you sure don't have a clue when it comes to these things. The Phantom of the Opera is a play about-"

"A phantom?" Shinichi interrupted, eyes glued to the list.

"Well- yeah- ahem- sort of."

"Hmm. So I guess this means I landed the lead role."

"What?" she hissed, shoving him to make room for herself. Sure enough, right there- under the words 'The Phantom of the Opera' and 'CAST' was written 'Kudo Shinichi… Phantom.'

"Geez. Relax, would you?" he said, nursing the spot she had hit. "You got a part too." Shinichi pointed out.

Ran spun around to face him. "I did?"

"Come on, at least read the list, dummy. It says so right there- 'Mouri Ran… Christine.' Right under my name, see?"

At this point, Ran turned a deep crimson. "What? "

Shinichi, who had absolutely no idea that Christine was the leading lady that the phantom was head over heels for, patted her on the back. "Hey, it won't be so bad! You starred in last year's play, didn't you?" he laughed. The laugh sounded more like evil cackling to Ran, and he was not going to get away with it.

"The Phantom of the Opera is a musical, Sherlock."

"WHAT?!"

* * *

"Is not!"

"Is too, ahou!"

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of Japan , our favorite kansai couple engaged themselves in their daily intellectual exchange of important and sophisticated matters concerning society. Let us listen to their dazzling conversation, shall we?

"It is NOT!"

"I'm telling you, Heiji. Extreme Dating is on at seven now!"

"And I'm telling YOU, Kazuha, that there is no way some stupid show called 'extreme dating' is stealing prime time away from my favorite slasher series!"

Kazuha rolled her eyes and was just about to bite back with a vengeful retort when a strong, sturdy arm snaked around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

And no, it wasn't Heiji's arm.

"Speaking of prime time, have you heard of the upcoming nationwide competition? Winning high school gets to be aired on prime time TWICE, I hear."

Kazuha groaned and slipped out of his hold. "What are you on about now, Saitou?"

She walked a few steps forward, totally missing the sight of Heiji slugging a good one at Saitou square in the eye.

"Come on, Kazuha! Don't tell me you're not psyched about being a star!" he urged, and then slid next to her and flashed a sleazy grin. "And more importantly, starring alongside ME."

When she just rolled her eyes and ignored him, he pushed some more. "Okay. You don't have to say it out loud. I understand you must've dreamt of the day you'd get to at least play my lovely love interest. Well dream no more! That day has finally arri-"

She stopped walking, turned to him and feigned a gasp. "Am I that transparent? I want you. I need you. Oh baby, oh baby." she quoted dryly and then picked up her pace for good.

Heiji promptly stuck hit tongue out at Saitou before catching up with his best friend.

It wasn't long before their argument about prime time heated up again and continued all the way to class. It also wasn't long before Kazuha grew tired and decided to go for the cold shoulder.

And now, Heiji watched her with rising amusement. There were two simple reasons she hardly ever resulted to ignoring him. It was less fun and more boring. Hence- nothing kept her entertained during their teacher's most boring lesson of the day.

Her arms were folded neatly on her desk, and her head rested on them. Her eyelids seemed to be getting too heavy for her. Soon enough, she was asleep.

Heiji still hadn't stopped watching her. He liked her all quiet- but only when she was asleep. Otherwise, it meant she was ignoring him, which pretty much sucked. It had been a while since he had seen her asleep. And he wondered- had she ever looked this serene? He couldn't recall her ever looking this... pretty. Almost beauti-

_screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee_

"Arrrgh!"

"Ahhhh!"

"Cut that out, sensei!"

The teacher in question smirked and withdrew his hand- and inevitably, his nails- from the board. "Well, now that everyone's AWAKE, I've got a few announcements to make. As you know, each year it is the duty of the graduating batch to come up with a marvelous rendition to a certain school play. This year, we will be doing our own version of the famous musical, The Phantom of the Opera because _this _year, there is a cash prize for the high school that will be able to perform the best version of the play. All the school's presentations will be aired on national television, but only one school's show will be aired twice- the second time the week after- and get the money." his eyebrow twitched. "So you better do good." he threatened. The class gulped. "Now, as for the roles..."

Meanwhile, Kazuha sneered and turned to her seatmate. "Ugh. Heiji, can you believe he's actually resorting to the old nails-on-board thing just to get our attention?" Thankfully they stuck to hushed voices during class hours.

He grinned. "Well, it worked didn't it?"

She wacked him (lightly this time- they were in class). "Whose side are you on, ahou?"

"His side if it stops me from thinking weird thoughts about you." he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" she snapped. She hadn't heard him, but she was sure it was something pretty nasty.

"I-I said I'm on his side if it gets you to stop snoring!"

Her jaw dropped open. "I do not snore when I sleep!" she hissed.

"So you admit you were sleeping and his plan worked?"

"W-well it was a dirty trick!" Kazuha complained. Unfortuantely, she happened to enjoy complaining and yelling at the same time. Hence, promptly putting the class discussion on PAUSE.

"Tooyama!" their teacher warned, raising his voice and pointing threateningly at her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean-"

And then he grinned and snapped his fingers. "Perfect."

"E-excuse me?" she asked.

He ignored her and continued his conversation with the rest of the students while pacing around the classroom. "Tooyama will play the role of Christine."

"What? No, I-!"

"Did I say it was a suggestion, Tooyama?"

She sulked. "No sir."

Beside her, Heiji sniggered. She glared at him. He stuck his tongue out at her.

She raised her hand.

"Sensei!I think Heiji will be perfect for the role of the phantom!"

"What?"

"Excellent idea, Tooyama!"

"What? No way! Kazuha, you idiot!"

"Don't be upset, Hattori." the teacher patted him lightly on the shoulder. "You should be thrilled to perform alongside your wife."

"WE'RE NOT MARRIED!" They yelled.

"And besides." Heiji added. "I've got a valid excuse. I'm gonna be on an important trip. Got five big cases to solve. Five. " he grinned. It was the truth. There was no way he could make it. Five, long-unsolved cases were waiting for him in Kyoto. Cases were important. Some killer could be running around and he wouldn't be there to put an end to it. School plays didn't matter. And national television? He had his fare share of that. So there was absolutely no reason for him to be hesitant.

"Alright then. I guess I'll have to choose Saitou to play Tooyama's love interest." He sighed. "What a shame. You sure?"

_Tooyama's love interest?_

Of course he was sure. Cases were important. Long-unsolved mysteries were interesting, and there were five of them for him to solve! This is what Hattori Heiji lived for!

"Well, maybe I could, y'know… squeeze it in."

* * *

6: 50, his watch read.

Ten minutes left and Kaitou felt a massive headache coming. Stupid Aoko and her stupid TV shows. Why on earth did he promise to watch Extreme Dating with her anyway? He inwardly kicked himself for that particularly smooth move. If he was late, she might be angry enough to try and make a connection with him and KID.

But he wouldn't have been late in the first place if it wasn't for that Hakuba.

Oh, well. Carefree as he was, he shrugged it off easily. Not wanting to waste any more time, he dashed over to the window and with one telltale _swoosh_, it opened, revealing the night sky. He held out the large gem, and observed it as the moon's rays began to make contact.

"There he is! There's KID!" The familiar voice of the inspector rose above the rest. "That jewel doesn't belong to you, KID! Surrender it now!"

Kaitou whirled around, his cape swishing proudly behind him. He smirked. "Sure thing."

"Now don't go using that tone with me! I order you to- what did you say?"

"Think fast!" he replied, tossing the gem to him. Once it was safely in the Inspector's hands, he spoke again. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got an important meeting to attend to." he tipped his top hat. "Goodnight!"

He climbed onto the window pane, crouching into a position, ready to take flight on his glider when-

"Hold on, Kid. This will only take approximately one minute, 5 seconds and 3.26 milliseconds."

Kaitou rolled his eyes, recognizing the dorky way of talking. He spun around and dangled his feet from the window like a little boy that was too short for his grown-up chair. "Yes?"

Hakuba grinned knowingly. "As you know, a competition is going to be held for all high schools for the best rendition of The Phantom of the Opera."

"And?"

"And I would like to invite you to participate in my school's performance."

Kaitou's eyebrows almost reached his hairline- but he remembered that he had to maintain a straight, poker face, so he did and kept quiet.

"I'm sure everyone would love to see you play the phantom. With that particular twist to our play, we're a shoe-in for first place."

"What makes you think I'll help you?" Kaitou said. It was unlike the KID that his fans knew. Usually he would go out of his way to help others- except when it came to stealing, escaping and such.

"Please." Saguru feigned begging, bowing respectfully. "I would be honored."

Kaitou thought about it. There was supposed to be a known gem in his school, and the night of the play might be a good time for a heist. Although... it would be pretty risky, and this guy seemed to be up to something...

"Unless of course, there is a particular reason you can not make it?

That did it. "On the contrary." he grinned. "It sounds like fun." he swung his legs around again and got back into his crouching position. "I'll be there." he said before getting on his glider and riding off to Aoko's house.

* * *

"Kaitou... what are you reading?"

Kaitou lowered the newspaper in his hands and gave Aoko a_ What's it look like, Einstein? _(TM) face. "Why do you wanna know?" he said before letting his eyes re-glue themselves to the papers.

"Because." she said, smirking. "You're grinning like a Cheshire cat. Or like you flipped up someone's skirt." scowl. "Pervert." she added. Aoko got up from her seat and peered over his shoulder. "KID again?!" she roared in his ear. "Why do you always act so happy whenever he makes an idiot out of my dad?"

_Your dad doesn't need me to make him look like an idiot! _He thought, and thanked the heavens he stopped himself from blurting it aloud. "That's not why I'm happy!" he protested.

"Well, then I bet you're happy 'cause he's going to be visiting our school and you'll get to meet him!" she exclaimed, getting back on her seat.

"That's not it either." he grumbled. He got back to the papers and felt himself grinning like a mental hospital escapee again. _Nyahaha! They really got my good angle!_

"Interesting, isn't it? Kaitou Kid showing up to play the phantom."

Kaitou looked up to meet the smug expression of that damn Hakuba. "If you ask me..." he countered. "What's interesting is that you're worried about our school."

"I've always cared about our school." Hakuba smirked as he circled Kaitou. "And I think it would be best _for our school _if _you _honored us with your acting skills, Kuroba-kun."

"Oh?" _So this is what this guy was up to. Heh. _

"How about going for the role of Raoul?" he seemed to suggest. "Unless of course, there is a reason you can't do it?"

Kaitou glared at him. Of course there was a reason, but there was no way Hakuba'll ever hear it or get any proof of it. "No, no, I'd be happy to." he obliged through gritted teeth.

"Good." he said, whirling around and making his big drama-queen exit. "Oh, and by the way- your wife got the lead as well."

"W-wife?" he stammered, turning his head to examine Aoko.

She blushed and 'humphed' and looked the other way.

And those were only the beginning of their troubles.

* * *

**A/N- Well, there you go. Chappie 1 of my new DC fic. Please, please, tell me what you think and give me some suggestions for all the stuff that's going to be in the middle Usually I only get ideas for the start and the end, so I come up with stuff as I go on. Hehe, just a side note- did you notice I used the wife joke for all three of them? Tsk, tsk. Anyway, I hope it wasn't too boring! Please let me know!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here it is! Chapter 2. Sorry for the long wait!**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy this!  
**

* * *

_tick tock_

_tick tock_

Time is of the essence.

And it was about time Shinichi came up with a good plan.

Spontaneously fainting- ahem- _passing out_- would be quick, effective- and also... really girly. So... nah.

Pretending to receive a call on his cellphone from Inspector Megure asking for him to solve an _urgent_ case- sounded believable, possible, convincing- and it also sounded like... he had used it the last time.

So... double nah.

_tick tock_

_tick tock_

Time is of the essence.

And it was Five seconds until Shinichi's time was up.

Five seconds until it was time for him to murder his class director and everyone else in the room- death by earbleed- with his incredible- incredibly awful- rendition of the Music of the Night.

"Alright, Kudo. Let's hear it."

"_NOOO!_" he roared.

The room fell deathly silent. The only sound heard was the infamous ticking of that formidable, formidable clock.

_tick tock_

_tick tock_

Two seconds until everyone got suspicious.

Did Kudo just yell? What was that about?

Phlegmatic, relaxed, cool-and-composed- Kudo (ahem-icequeen-ahem) never lost face! Whisper, whisper.

_tick, tock_

_tick, tock_

It was time for Shinichi's brain to make a quick reappearance.

"I mean..." he began, regaining himself, "Do you really think we should be worrying about something as simple as the music?" he said, raising an eyebrow and shoving his hands in his pockets, (attempting) to look cool. He forced a smirk onto his face.

"W-well, I-I dunno..." The class director- who was a creative but timid fellow- stammered uselessly. "I-It is a m-musical after all..."

"Think about it." he began, gaining momentum as he started pacing around the room and looking at each member of the cast and crew in the eye importantly while he passed them by. "Every other school will be working on trying to make their singing splendid at this point- but what's the use trying to be the best in that? We're all required to have the same songs." he grinned. "If we really want to win this thing, then we have to work on getting ourselves noticed, right? We've got to be original!" the last word was punctuated with a loud _slam_ of his fist on the teacher's desk that made a stack of test papers tremble and shake the class awake.

They exchanged enthusiastic looks. "He's right, he's right!" they convinced each other sturdily.

Meanwhile, Ran shook her head and rolled her eyes. The things he did to get out of these sticky situations.

"So what do you suggest, Kudo?" the director spoke up, all fired up from Shinichi's little speech.

"What do I suggest?" he said, the tip of his echo curling upwards in a tone that suggested he had it all played out in his mind.

"We gotta give the voters what they want, right?" he asked, adding enthusiastic volume for dramatic effect.

"And WHAT do they want?" He circled the room again, like a tiger on the prowl, but with the sharp, watchful eye of a hawk.

"You." he pointed at a person the way a motivational speaker plucked out an answer from a crowd. "What do the voters want?"

"Special effects!" he yelled, grinning broadly. "Lights and sounds and explosions!" he waved his arms in the air for emphasis.

"Special effects..." Shinichi nodded, mumbling and taking mental note of the suggestion. "What else?" he said, pointing to another.

"Action? Adventure, that kind of stuff- thrills and chills and _everything_."

"Hmm." he said, coming to a stop to bring his hand to his chin thoughtfully, putting on quite a show of (pretending to) know where he was going. "I suppose good suspense does have its advantages..."

"Romance."

"Eh?" he said, his head snapping up. He whirled around.

There sat Sonoko on a chair smack-dab in the middle of the room, arms folded across her chest, legs crossed, and to top it all off- a victorious, superior and slightly sarcastic smirk on her face. "Romance!" she repeated, releasing her hands to gesture out her feelings like she was so accustomed to doing. "You want real thrills and chills; you gotta put on a good love story. That's what I'd want to see. That's what _every_ good woman would want to see."

She gestured to the collection of female students, who started nodding absently as if in a daze.

Sonoko had her way with words, too. Her demeanor made her statement all the more convincing.

And as the girls slowly began to chat amongst themselves animatedly, Sonoko suggested it again. "You see? Romance."

"Romance." Shinichi echoed flatly. He pressed his lips together into one stern line. He stared at her. Straight-faced, eyes a fraction wide.

And then...

"Romance!" he suddenly yelped, leaping onto a small platform, a huge grin on his face. "Ahaha! That's it! A good romance is a good story, as they say. Real proof of a great plot. That's the stuff that flies right off the shelves! We'll give them the best love scenes they've ever seen! We'll blow their minds away and leave them swooning and sighing and wishing they could push Ran off the stage and have the role of Christine all for themselves!"

"Ahem."

"Er- no offense, Ran."

"None taken." she replied (albeit a little too forcefully) through gritted teeth. "At least now we know why you're being so enthusiastic, don't we?"

"We'll make it so good that even the men would want in on it!" he continued, ignoring the radioactive waves radiating off of her. "Romance it is. You got that?"

He grinned at the scriptwriter.

"R-right." she stammered nervously, scribbling something down on a notepad, frantic. Somehow when Shinichi held the reigns of an operation he tended to make people believe he was superior to them, even if just for a moment. "S-so I should show a lot more of Raoul and Christine together, r-right?"

Shinichi had that blank look again.

"A good idea, of course." he grinned at her as a compliment and she blushed. "But if there's one thing an audience likes it's a happy ending. And what better way to put that warm and fuzzy feeling of contentment in their hearts than to change the story a bit and have Christine fall for the phantom?"

The room was filled with murmurs of appreciation and agreement- except for one outraged individual.

"Shinichi!" Ran yelled, arms clasped tightly to her sides, as if some invisible rope had wound itself tightly around her. She turned three shades of red. "What are you saying?"

From the corner of his eye he could see everyone looking from her to him and back again. For once in this type of situation, Shinichi didn't disappoint (for the sake of saving his unmusical hide).

He strode over to her with a grin like that clever tiger on the prowl he so recently proved he was capable of being. Unconsciously, she took a nervous step backward.

He only stopped when he was standing right beside her so that their shoulders were touching. He looked straight ahead, facing south- the windows, while she stood completely stiff, facing north- the blackboard. And then he lowered his voice, so that only she could hear.

"Don't you think it's about time?"

* * *

_"Kyaaa!" _

Aoko's inhumanly high-pitched squeal threw Ran off-course in her story.

"And then? And then?" Kazuha pressed on eagerly, pulling on Ran's arm. "Don't stop now!"

"You guys..." Ran said, sweatdropping (no other way to describe it). "You guys are too excitable."

"But this is your house, Ran-chan." Kazuha said, bouncing on the bed. "So _ you've _got to tell us _your _stories."

"For the last time." she sighed. "This isn't my house, it's Shinichi's!"

Aoko shrugged. "What's the difference?"

"You're practically married." Kazuha snorted.

"Enough with that joke." she demanded. "Looked in the mirror lately, ladies?" Ran accused.

Aoko rolled her eyes. "Just get on with the story."

"There _is _no more to the story." she said, exasperated. "After that, he just walked past me and went over to the lights director."

"Aww." Kazuha said, pouting.

"What could he have meant, though?" Aoko wondered aloud. "By _that_?"

The three exchanged looks.

"Hey- do you think they're talking about it right now?" Aoko asked eagerly. She was almost giddy.

Kazuha laughed. "If Kudo-kun's as smart as everyone says he is, then he won't say a word to those two. He'll never hear the end of it."

"No way... really?" Ran asked in disbelief. Shinichi teased people. Oh yes, of course he did. But luckily for her, he didn't find it as much fun as Heiji and Kaito did. "Well, come to think of it..."

"Yep. Kazuha's right." Aoko said. "I mean, c'mon- _'Don't you think it's about time'_?"

The three girls laughed.

* * *

As it was, the two boys _also_ laughed.

And laughed.

And laughed.

"Gwahahahaha!" Heiji said, pounding his fist on the couch, now on his knees on the floor. "THAT'S how you tried to get away from it?"

"Shut up!" Shinichi said, shrinking in his seat. "I was trying to be manly about it." he added- in a smaller voice.

"_Manly?_ You were about as manly as Richard Simmons in... well, everything. "

Shinichi winced. "Ouch. Low blow."

"Romance!" Kaito cut in, putting on his best Kudo- plus- extra- (corny) - suave voice. "Christine has to fall in love with ME!"

"Oh, and let's not forget-" - Heiji lowered his voice in an attempt to sound phony cool. "Don't you think it's about time, babe?"

And his two (former!) friends continued to laugh.

Shinichi bristled. He hadn't added 'babe' to his list of unforgivable sins, after all.

"Haha! Man." Kaito shook his head. "You should've just taken lessons from your mom and saved yourself the humiliation."

Suddenly, his head snapped up.

"That's it! Damn it, why didn't I think of it before?" he asked with exaggerated regret. "Oh, that's right." he said flatly. "Maybe it's because I've had those when I was a kid and all I learned from those lessons was that I'm hopeless when it comes to this stuff."

"Or." Heiji began. "MAYBE it's because it was destiny's plan for us to have something to laugh at?" he suggested, grinning.

Shinichi's eyebrow twitched. "Ha, ha." he said. "We haven't heard from _you_, yet."

It was Heiji's turn to frown. "Heard about what?"

"_Heard about what_, he says." Kaito rolled his eyes. "You've been jumping from Osaka to Tokyo every single day to attend rehearsals for a _school play_, and you _still_ ask that? Are you crazy or what?"

"I dunno." he sighed, leaning back. "I think I might be crazy. I really have NO idea why I'm doing it. I mean, it's not like I live for stage-acting."

Shinichi and Kaito exchanged this-guy-is-a-flaming-moron looks.

"You're freaking jealous, man." Kaito said, pointing an accusing finger at him while an all-knowing smirk crept across his face.

"Jealous?" Heiji wrinkled his nose. "Of what?"

"That Saito-jerk you're always complaining about." Shinichi looked bored. "If you're so jealous of the guy, then tell him to back off."

"But that's the thing!" he yelled all of a sudden in exasperation. "It's BECAUSE I told him to back off that I have to put up with him!" He grunted. "And I am not jealous."

Shinichi and Kaito exchanged looks once again, only this time confused expressions were what passed through them.

"You told him to back off?" Shinichi asked slowly.

"Whaddya mean?" Kaitou pushed.

There was an awfully uncomfortable silence wherein Heiji shifted in his seat, staring at the ground.

"Fine. I'll tell you, but if you laugh then our beautiful friendship is officially _over_."

* * *

Heiji grudgingly unrolled his sleeping bag and dumped his change of clothes onto it.

Spending the night at a buddy's house to play videogames and eat pizza was one thing.

Having a _slumber party_ with six other guys (and to rehearse for a freaking musical, no less!) was just another matter all together.

And so, after about five and a half hours of stage talk, cheesy lines, a drawling conversation about the prettiest girls in class, how they got the lead roles, and a humiliating follow-up conversation about him and Kazuha, Heiji decided to go out into the balcony for a bit of fresh air.

"Geez." he said, leaning against the railing. "If I were an alcoholic, I'd be drinking right now. If I were a smoker, I'd be smoking, and if I were a drug addict, I'd be taking a hit."

There was the sound of approaching footsteps, and then some soft chuckling. "Now, now. Talking about Kazuha-chan wasn't that bad, now was it?"

Heiji didn't bother to turn his head. "Ah, Saito. Our little heart-to-hearts are always a treasure."

Saito ignored the sarcasm and started out cheerfully like always. "Speaking of Kazuha-chan..."

A terrible feeling swirled around in Heiji's stomach, like the feeling he got when a criminal raises his gun at him.

Spending the night at a buddy's house to play videogames and eat pizza was one thing.

Having a _slumber party_ with six other guys (and to rehearse for a freaking musical, no less!) was just another matter all together.

But, grouchy as Heiji had been the whole night about the entire ordeal, nothing- NOTHING could be compared to this.

"You and her are pretty close, right?" he went on.

Heiji twitched as a supposedly companionable arm slung itself around his shoulder. He gingerly removed it as if it were- well- a corpse's arm.

"Yeah. Me and Kazuha-_chan_ go pretty far back." he replied.

Saito frowned an 'uh-huh...' kind of frown. "Yeah. So are you guys an item?"

"What? Me and Kazuha?" he said, raising an eyebrow. Why did everyone have to ask that? "Were you not paying attention a while ago? We're just friends. Best friends, but just friends."

"Just confirming, just confirming." he sang, and without looking Heiji could tell there was a despicably huge grin on Saito's face. "So, you don't mind if I ask her out?"

Inside Heiji's head, a small voice scoffed- _Hah. Like she'd ever go out with you. _Unfortunately, however, the voice was being drowned by a louder,more demanding one- and it screamed- _JEALOUSYRAGEJEALOUSY!_.

"Oho..." he said, calm and slightly twitching on the outside, pulling his hair out on the inside. "How thoughtful of you to ask me first instead of just going for the kill."

And then an expression crept across Saito's face. An expression that said, 'ah, what a relief! So we were thinking the same thing!'.

Heiji didn't like it one bit.

"Yeah, man! Going for the kill is right. That chick is _hot_." He smirked. "So you think I should ask her out, right?"

There. Right _there_, a fuse was blown. Heiji clenched his hands into fists. "As always, Saito, I think you've failed to comprehend my disgust."

Heiji unclenched his hands and violently grabbed the arrogant jerk by the collar.

"What I _think_ you should do is-" - he pulled on him harder, so that his feet were forced to go slightly off the ground-

"STAY AWAY FROM HER, YOU FILTHY _BASTARD!_" he released him- but not before slamming his head hard against the concrete wall.

* * *

"NO WAY." Shinichi said, grinning ear-to-ear.

"_Pfft_." Kaito clasped his hand over his mouth. "_Pffffft._"

Heiji sighed. "Just let it out already, Kuroba."

"Pfffahahahahaha!"

After the initial shock of Heiji making an attempt to look bad-ass, and after Heiji "officially ended their beautiful friendship", the boys leaned back and sighed, enjoying cans and cans of soda.

"And?" Shinichi suddenly blurted out.

"What do you mean 'and'?" Heiji said, raising an eyebrow.

"That can't be all there was to it." Shinichi grinned slyly. "Knowing you, that little outburst wasn't even the worst part."

"'Knowing me'? what do you mean by that?" he demanded to know.

"Come on, Hattori-kuuun" Kaitou cooed jokingly, "_Do _tell us more?"

Heiji twitched. "I'm not telling! If you really want to know, ask Kazuha."

"But, what are the chances that she would actually tell? She might want to keep it a secret, you know." Kaito was lying through his teeth, and they all knew it.

"No, no, and no."

Shinichi's eyes narrowed as he spoke. "Do it or we'll tell her about the outburst."

Heiji groaned. "You're lucky I'm such a generous guy, but seriously. Kazuha is probably telling those two girls right now, and you'dve gotten to heat about it eventually."

And as usual, Heiji was right.

* * *

"Kazuha-chan!" Ran cheered. "Your turn, your turn!"

"Eh?" she said, color rising to her cheeks. "W-well, I don't really have any stories to tell, but something weird with Heiji

did happen at the start of the week."

"Kazuha-chan!" a loud, annoying, and unfortunately familiar voice called out to her as she made her way through the swarm of students in the hall. "Kazuha-chaaan!" it called again.

It was like the same, eardrum-breaking, screechy, nails-on-board type sound that cats used as a mating call.

And Kazuha was definitely not keen on answering it.

"Tooyama-san, I believe, would be appropriate for a relationship such as ours." she replied flatly when she had no choice but to meet up with him (God, the man had long legs).

"And what relationship would that be, Tooyama-san?" he asked, almost endulging her.

She smiled coldly. "Non-existent." and she breezed by him. To the people Kazuha cared most about, she granted them a blessing disguised as a curse- her fiery rage. To the people she cared about, she shouted and yelled and screamed and used up all of her passion and time and energy to show them right from wrong.

"Them" meaning Heiji, of course. Secretly.

There was a heavy silence where she could feel steam coming out of Saito from behind her. Blissful, heavy silence. And then he opened his mouth again.

"Alright." he said, overly nonchalant. "I just thought you'd like to know that Hattori won't be able to play the part of the phantom anymore."

She could feel her head throbbing. She really had no idea why she put up with this guy's antics when she could've just twisted his arm and sent him back-flipping onto the ground.

"What do you mean?" she asked impatiently.

"Well, on accounta him being busy with all those cases in Tokyo. Guess I have-"- sigh- "no choice but to fill in for him."

"What-" she croaked "Ahem- what?"

And then, right on cue, someone else decided to swoop down and join in on the action.

"Kazuha! There you are! I've been looking for- oh, I'm sorry, Saito, I didn't see you there." Heiji shoved him away a bit and completely turned his back to him. "What's up?"

"Oh nothing. 'Cept, I hear you won't be able to make it to rehearsals and stuff anymore, and Saito'll be taking your place...?" she left it as a question.

"Spreading lies around, are you?" Heiji asked, patting Saito's shoulder. "You _precious_- _LITTLE- __**THING!**_" with every _overjoyed_ word his pat evolved more into a shove.

"So it isn't true?" she asked.

"No! Not at all! In fact, someone's already solved all of them, and they don't need me anymore! All set, they are, ha-ha-ha!" he laughed stiffly. "Guess I'll be able to play the lead after all!"

"Oh. Um. Good." she said, raising an eyebrow. "Well. I hope they, uh, know what they're doing."

* * *

"I hope you know what you're doing too." Shinichi replied, bringing a can of soda to his lips.

"That's right." Kaitou agreed. "You PRECIOUS- LITTLE- THING!" he patted him on the head with each word.

"Ha-ha-ha." Heiji grumbled.

"And so?" Shinichi pressed on dryly. "This is why you've been running back and forth, then. Because you lied and you've been solving cases and

attending rehearsals without trying to seem late at all."

"Well..."

"Wuh-tshhh!" Kaitou exclaimed, gesturing with his right hand. "Whipped."

"Hey, hey, hey." he said, straightening up. "You haven't told us YOUR story yet."

"Yeah, he's right." Shinichi said, switching on way-too-often-exposed-serious-detective-mode. "How are you handling your situation? Surely you were asked to attend practices as yourself and as KID as well?"

"And at the same time, too. Knowing that nosy Hakuba." Heiji sneered.

"Ah, that little glitch in the system?" Kaitou laughed as if it were nothing. "No worries, no worries. All taken care of."

"What?" Shinichi asked sharply. "How?"

"It's no big deal, really. All you need is a loving mother and a phony growing cold, and you're all set."

"Ugh." Heiji grunted. "Don't tell me..."

Shinichi shook his head. "He even dragged his mom into it."

"Thaaat's right. I pretended to be under the weather for a whole week so I could make up the excuse that my mom wanted me home to rest before night time, so that I don't push myself too hard and so that the chilly night air will never get the better of me. But it's not as bad as it sounds. She _did_ agree to it."

Shinichi sighed. "Have you no shame?"

Kaitou just grinned, and after a few rounds of jokes that revolved around that long-unanswered question, they descended back into serious mode.

Heiji was the first to speak. "But seriously, Kuroba- you can't have this little rouse going on forever. Sooner or later, you'll be forced to think of a way to properly mislead everyone."

"Yeah..." he agreed, looking down at his hands with a ghost of a smile still steady on his face. "I figured as much."

"And?" Shinichi asked. "What're you going to do?"

The two detectives' intent stares were almost persistent enough to have him break down, but Kaitou only raised his head and laughed.

"No worries, no worries. All taken care of." he repeated, exactly as he did the last time- as if it were nothing. And then, as his full-fledged grin turned into more of a mysterious smirk, a familiar little something twinkled in his eyes. "I live for this kind of stuff, don't you know?" he added softly.

But before either Heiji or Shinichi could worry about his reply, the sound of rushed footsteps could be heard as the girls ran down the stairs.

Shinichi crossed his arms and sighed. "Sounds like a stampede of horses trotting downwards."

"Ah, that's probably because of Kazuha." Heiji replied. Then once the girls were down, he raised his voice at her- "Pick up your feet, would you?"

Kazuha stuck her tongue out at him.

"Sorry, we're kind of in a hurry." Ran apologized.

"Yeah, we didn't realize the time!" Aoko said. "We'd better get to the mall if we want to make it."

"You're one to talk." Kazuha jeered, nudging Aoko. "Getting any good gossip from you is like pulling teeth!"

Ran giggled. "But they're worth it! I especially love the one with the flowers-"

"No, no." Kazuha objected. "The story about the birthday party was the best."

"Ah, that was a great one too! But not as great as the one with the wedding."

"Oh, yeah! I forgot about that one. Aoko-chan, how did that story go again?"

"_Speaking _of weddings... would you just go and get your dresses already?" Heiji interrupted before things got out of hand.

"And they wonder why time passes by so quickly..." Shinichi shook his head and opened another can of soda.

"Well we wouldn't be rushing if _someone_ hadn't forgotten to tell us that there would be an engagement party!" Ran argued, planting her hands on her hips.

"Oh my, would you look at how many cans I finished? I think I need to go to the restroom." Shinichi said, getting up quickly.

"And I think I need to go with the girls." Kaitou stood up before Shinichi could make his courageous exit.

"What-? Kaitou, stop fooling around." Aoko demanded.

"Someone needs to remind you of the time." he reasoned. "Plus, I need some clothes for later, too. A guy as fun as me has zero formal clothes." A broad, contagious grin spread across his face.

Shinichi and Heiji exchanged knowing looks and telepathically told each other the same thing.

_Well, why doesn't he wear his KID clothes, then? _

"Ooh! Let him come, Aoko!" Kazuha exclaimed excitedly. "I've always wanted to dress him up. Doesn't he have the aura of a famous actor or something?"

"Thank you, Thank you." He grinned, as Shinichi and Heiji exchanged looks yet again.

"Fine." Aoko agreed grudgingly. "But I won't have you disguising yourself as a saleslady in the women's department again, Kaitou!"

"Yes, ma'am!" he saluted.

And they were out.

* * *

Barely ten minutes after, the doorbell rang.

Shinichi groaned as he dragged his feet to the door. He really didn't want to attend to a last minute visit from his parents (even if they technically lived there, and deserved a right to be let in)- or worse- Ran's dad (even if he technically didn't live there, and deserved no right at all to be let in).

Nevertheless, he expected either of the options, what with the engagement party later that night.

What he didn't expect was to find a seriously distressed-looking couple at the other side of the door- with a note from KID, no less.

* * *

**A/N- So, there you go. The very, very long awaited chapter 2. Sorry it took practically a year to update! I've been ridiculously busy. **

**Don't worry, chapter 3 won't take as long, since I've already basically got the draft for it. And also, with regards to a question from a friend- the reason why Shinichi is a bit more cheerful and playful than usual at the beginning is because he's desperate for an excuse to work on something other than the music. ^^**

**Anyway, please review! And I hope you liked this chapter. Even if it was mostly dialogue. There'll be more action in the next chapter.**

**See you then!  
**


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